7 Signs You Might Be a Facebook Hypocrite

1.  If you've ever been on food stamps, medicaid, or received Unemployment Compensation, posting something like this makes you a hypocrite:
Old Chinese proverb: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he will feed himself for life." 
American proverb: "Give a man foodstamps, welfare checks, 100 weeks of unemployment, free cell phone, cash for clunkers, and free government housing and he will vote democrat forever."


That's right, no matter how many of your friends "like" this comment, since you have been a user of the very system you criticize, you're a hypocrite!  Not to mention, you're showing your ignorance regarding which president is responsible for which program...but that's another blog post.

2.  You  say "I Love You" to your significant other/children/friends, in your Facebook post every day, but you're actually an asshole to them at home.

3.  You spend hours scouring the web for images with wise quotes to post on your wall:


When what' you really think is:



4.  You constantly yap about how wonderful your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is, but you're really just trying to make someone else jealous of the fabulous life you *Don't* have.  Seriously folks, who has the perfect life-partner?  We all know you're blowing smoke up our asses, so why not just say what you mean?  For example:

"Fackbooker123  My husband is an okay guy.  I mean, I could do a lot worse I suppose.  At least he picked up his underwear off the floor today and kissed me goodbye before I left.  Either way, I'm happy I finally settled."

That, we would all buy.

5.  You brag on your kids a bit too much.  It makes us all think you're probably over-compensating for that 44 year old still living in your basement eating Cheetos and playing video games on your old couch from 1976.   We know you're not really the proud parent of a terrific kid...Might as well be honest with yourself and everyone else, this one was a fluke.

6.  You gush about what a great boss/job you have, when in reality, you wish the place would burn down during the night so you'd never have to go back again.  Your real friends likely know you're miserable with your job, no matter what you lead the FB crowd to believe.

7.  You're actually a pretty well-adjusted happy person, but your FB posts are ALWAYS dark, dreary and depressing.  For example, one time I was sitting in the room with a friend of mine (a guy who shall remain nameless) laughing, joking and having  a great time.  Apparently, when I got up to grab a drink, he posted the following on his FB page:

"Life is so hard sometimes.  I'd rather just go home and die than continue living this way."

He got lots of heartwarming, caring responses from people who were (probably) really concerned about him.   In reality?  We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning watching comedy central and laughing our butts off!  Depressed?  I think not.  Attention seeking?  Yes.  Hypocrite? Most definitely.

Happy Posting Y'all! :)