Disgusted

I own the most disgusting dog in the world.

He weighs 7 pounds and has the smell of a million gallons of shit, vomit and wet-dog.  Seriously, it's as if someone has distilled those three scents and at some point when I'm not around, he runs into the bathroom and uses an atomizer to douse himself in the breathtakingly offensive odor.

It doesn't matter that I bathe him weekly.  He stinks to high heaven immediately after having been bathed.

As if the smell alone weren't a bad enough, he has some grotesque behaviors as well.

If he is around another dog while that dog is peeing, he will try his best to get his nose (if not the whole of his body) into its urine stream.  He loves being peed on.  

Also, he rolls in shit every time he gets a chance and I live in an apartment complex where there are tons of dogs, so walking outside with him is like walking through a turd land mine where he attempts to throw himself on top of every shit bomb he can find.

He tries to eat garbage. Not unusual, you might think.  I didn't think so either until that time that I caught him running under the bed with a used maxi pad in his mouth as if it were a T-bone steak that he had to hide to eat.

He drinks water to excess.  A common problem with some dogs as I understand, although no one, including his vet, really understands WHY he does this.  The water consumption itself isn't such a big deal, its the white, foamy, bile-filled vomit that kicks the nastiness level over the top.

Also his pee stinks worse than that of any dog I have ever owned.  If he pees in the house it takes weeks to get rid of the smell, even after shampooing the carpet and using pet odor enzymes, baking soda and borax.  

Even if I wash his butt daily, he ends up with a little poop stuck to his butt-hair.  He prances around with it hanging there as if it something to be proud of.  Recently I've tried shaving his hair closer around his butt, however, he is very squirmy.  When he gets nervous he lets off an even more offensive odor that literally makes me gag.  Did I mention that he's nervous much of the time?

He whines constantly.  He whines to go out, but then when I take him out he whines to come back in. He whines to go ride in the car with us in the mornings or afternoons, but then he whines the whole time we are in the car.  He whines to go in his basket at night (he sleeps under an upside down laundry basket) but then when he whines once I let him in it.  He whines to sit in my lap, but then when I put him on my lap he frantically licks me and whines to get down.

I don't normally mind a dog licking my hands once in a while, but this dog has an exceptionally wet tongue.  It is tiny and fast and oh, so gross, considering the fact that he loudly, proudly and compulsively licks his private parts and eats ANYTHING that doesn't attempt to eat him first.

Also his breath stinks BAD.  There aren't enough Denta-bones in the world.

He humps EVERY other dog he can get close to.

He barks ferociously at the neighbors and some people are even scared of him.  Seriously.

He takes FOREVER to find the right spot to poop in.  I have to plan an extra 20 minutes into my morning routine in order to give him enough time to circle several different spots numerous times before he finally decides on a place and squats.  Sometimes he needs to go twice, but doesn't tell me, so we come in, I feed him and put him in his basket for the day (while I'm at work) and he poops in the basket.  Did I mention that under the overturned basket, I put a nice comfy towel for him to lie on. When he poops in there, he paws the towel back and makes sure his poop lands on the carpet instead of the towel.

Today he pooped on his squeaky toy.

I used to put him in the bathroom with a pee pad on the floor during the day.  He would pee on the pee pad and the shred it all over the bathroom, leaving a huge mess for me to clean up when I got home.

He also chewed the cabinet door.

Is it any wonder that I am having trouble feeling attached to his animal?  

I know it isn't his fault.  He raised himself on the streets.  He comes from the school of doggy hard knocks.  Before my sister found him wandering around under her porch, he was an orphan-dog.  He hitched himself up with whatever bigger dog he could find (for protection, of course) and foraged to stay alive. 

Going for a whine in the car last summer

I know it's just his survival instinct that makes him so disgusting, but it seems like after having been a house-dog for almost 2 years, he would have learned some doggy etiquette by now.  

The vet says he's not stupid, just too old to learn new tricks and will only adapt his behavior when it suits him to do so.

All I'm doing here is trying to take care of him and give him a safe, loving place in the world and he spites me by being so sickening and disagreeable.

Reminds me of some people I know.

I was talking to another dog-loving friend of mine the other day about the trouble I'm having feeling affection for this dog.  His words to me were sage.  "Why do you think he ended up being a stray? You're probably not the first person to take him in and then be repulsed by him."

Now my question is, does this mean I'm stuck with him for good?  I've only just started to learn to free myself from human entanglements that bring me no joy and rob me of the things I want in life.  How do I handle such a situation with a dog who is dependent on me?  Humans are one thing--they can figure things out for themselves and no one is going to think I'm horrible for changing my mind about wanting one who makes a habit of taking a dump on my spirit.  Drop a dog off at the shelter and your name is mud.  Forever.

This little guy should really have an outside life, for the most part.  I'd be happy to bring him inside to sleep at night and shield him from harsh weather, but apartment life doesn't seem to suit him very well.  I think he is sad and lonely and longing for those freedom-filled days of rolling in all the shit piles he can find, taking urine showers whenever he can weasel his way into a good stream, and eating whatever garbage he can forage from the neighbor's trash.  I think it's probably what he dreams of during those naps when he's whimpering and twitching over in the corner by the couch.

I am going to keep trying to love this little guy.  He is awfully cute, which is fortunate for him. I have a feeling a lesser attractive dog with his annoying personality wouldn't have survived this long.  I guess we all have our positive qualities, even if they are only skin-deep.