7 People No One Wants To Be

1. You don't want to be Debbie Downer.  You know the type, right?  They can be male or female, and they simply cannot find a silver lining to any cloud whatsoever.  Even when GOOD things happen to them, they find the bad element to harp on.  They win the lottery, but instead of being thrilled about winning all that money, they complain and complain about the taxes they had to pay, or the fact that people want them to donate to charity, or the fact that their mom needs an operation and expects them to help pay for it.  Or maybe they lose 50 pounds, but instead of being happy with their new, thinner size, they complain that their clothes are too big.  Throw Debbie a surprise party for her birthday and she'll be upset that she wasn't prepared for it, forget her birthday and she's convinced you hate her.  There's no making her happy, so don't even try.

2.  You don't want to be Ignorant Jim-Bob.  This is the guy who swallows down every ounce of pro-gun, anti-gay, racist propaganda anyone tries to feed him.  Throw in the words "conspiracy" and "liberal" and you've got him, hook line and sinker.  He will spout statistics he can't back up, and when that fails to make his point, he will take some Biblical scripture out of context to make his point.  He will argue with a stop sign, and he will frustrate you to no end if you try to engage him in rational conversation.  Save yourself the trouble, there's no use trying to reason with someone who is irrational, much less someone who is an idiot.

3.  You don't want to be Ass-Kisser Annie.  These are people who get where they're going in life by sucking up.  Brown nosing.  Kissing ass.  Often they do their jobs very poorly, because they aren't actually qualified for them.  They didn't get promoted or hired because of their qualifications, they just happened to kiss the ass of the most narcissistic manager they could find--and they show promise in their ability to continue to kiss ass once they're hired/promoted.  Eventually everyone who works as an equal with, or works for this person starts to hate them on some level.  Mostly out of frustration, because they see someone screwing up a job they could do better--except for the sucking up part.

Ms. Bitter

4.  You don't want to be Mr. or Ms. Bitter.  Everyone has relationships that go sour.  Lord knows, I've had my share.  I could be bitter-okay, I still have days when I am bitter, but in general, I'm a pretty laid back, easy going gal, so I refuse to let the actions of a few rotten men turn me into a shriveled up angry husk of a being.  No one likes hearing your story of betrayal over and over and over again.  Women don't want to be lumped in the same category as your whorish cheating ex girlfriend, nor do all men want to be referred to under such terms.  Life is what it is.  Some people are shitty--male and female.  Just don't become one of them.

5. You don't want to be Mr. or Mrs. Half-Ass.  Everyone likes to cut corners now and then, but if your name is going to be attached to a project or a task, do it as well as you are able.  What if your surgeon got you half-way sewn up after a surgery and then decided, "Oh well, that's good enough."  Good enough for him maybe, but what about you?  Sometimes good enough will do, other times, it just makes you look like a lazy slob.  Learn to know the difference between those times.

6.  You don't want to be a Judgmental Jerk.  You know who I'm talking about.  It's your girlfriend who makes comments about everyone else's weight--even people she doesn't know.  It's your uncle who decides that all Catholics are going straight to Hell, or someone else you know who says single moms get what they ask for when they are trying to raise a child without its father.  These are people who haven't a clue what it means to be empathetic.  They know for sure, that their way of living and being and doing is the RIGHT way, and it's the ONLY right way.  If you're different from them, you're wrong.  So what if you take medication that makes you fat?  So what if your crappy husband took off with the cleaning lady from his job?  You are still wrong.  And you're likely going to Hell.

Procrastinator

7.  You don't want to be me.  Heck, half the time I don't even want to be me.  Why? You ask.  You seem like a really cool chick, you say.  And you're right.  But I also sit around thinking of things like "7 People No One Wants To Be" and then I spend twenty minutes typing about it.  Are there other, more constructive things I could do with my time?  Yes.  Yes there are.  The problem is, I am one of the people you don't want to be because I am a Procrastinator.

Which is why there's no Number 8.  I'll get to that later.