Tripped Switch

This morning I got to work almost an hour early after dropping my boy off at school and then meeting the husband of a member with Alzheimer's who cannot wait at home by herself for the Senior Action van to pick her up.  Bev and I drove to Wal-Mart at 7:45 to grab supplies for our Halloween party, then hurried back to the center to set everything up.

If you've never tried to make a quick run into the store with a person who has Alzheimer's, you might not understand why our Wal-Mart trip didn't exactly go as fast as I'd planned.  Our pleasant, slow paced conversation on the way there gave way to minor frustration on my part when my pal Bev wanted to stop and peruse all the Halloween costumes at the front of the store.  You know all those displays that are set up to grab your attention and distract you from your original purpose?  Well we got stopped by most of them.  I find it difficult to stay bothered with her for long.  She's so funny, witty even; but as time ticked away and nothing I needed made itself easy for me to find, I attempted to kick things into gear--snap her back into MY reality for a few minutes.

We finally made it out the door and to the center before 9:00.  Of course the first thing I did when I walked in the door was flip the light switch.  Nothing happened.  Then I remembered a text I got over the weekend from Zack.  He said the lights in the foyer were making a strange noise so he flipped off the breaker switch until they could be checked out.  Thinking nothing more of it, I went on into our room, then to my office where again, I flipped the light switch and nothing happened.  Oh well, no bother.  I don't use my office much anyway.  We got a few decorations up and I realized I still wasn't in my costume.   I excused myself to the ladies' room to finish getting ready.  I opened the door, flipped the switch: Nothing.  Now, I can deal with no lights in the foyer, there are windows there.  I can deal with no lights in my office, there's a light just outside my door. However, in the ladies' room, not a window or ambient glow from anywhere.

I went in search of that breaker box.

Through one door, then another door, and finally there it was.  Three switches were turned off and not knowing which one to flip, I flipped all 3 until I saw light.  Day, saved.

At least, it was saved until I picked up my boy from school.  He had a horrible, frustrating day.  He got confused and overwhelmed with his classwork and  at some point, a switch got flipped.

Just like those outlets in your bathroom that pop and turn off if you plug in too many things at once, his brain got overloaded, he started to melt down inside.  The only thing left to do?  Turn off the energy supply.

Just like the lights in our foyer, my boy sat, darkened and resigned not to shine.  Unfortunately no one seemed to have the wherewithal to go looking for his breaker box.  After all, there is a way to switch him back on when he gets discouraged, but first someone has to find the motivation to look for the switch.

As a mom it is so frustrating to watch his frustration.  It is hard to not judge the teacher who has 20-something other kids who are tripping switches all day long.  She probably needs an electrician just to get through the day, so I imagine she's flipped plenty of switches off and on over the years. How then, could she not see what was happening to my kid right before her eyes?

I wrote her an email tonight, gently trying to explain what happened today because I know my boy can't put it all into words for her.  I hope that somehow as a team, his school and I can find our way to that well-hidden breaker box and find a way to keep those switches in the ON position more than in the OFF one.

He is still, for the most part, in a state of melt-down tonight. Nothing is going his way.  I am hoping a good night's sleep will reset him and that tomorrow will be better but who knows?  He might need a stealthy teacher to find a flashlight and to searching through the depths of his mind for that switch.

I just hope she will understand it's there and if she just takes the time to go looking for it, she can find it.

We all can.