Twas the day before Christmas,
And the house was a wreck.
If Santa came in,
He'd say,"What the heck?"

The stockings are hung on the wall with care,
But Santa can't get to them
 because of the rocking chair.

And here I sit alone on my ass,
Wishing Christmas would hurry and pass.

My boy is quietly playing upstairs
in nothing but his underwears.

The dishes are soaking in the sink,
And I'm wishing I had a good stiff Drink.

The dog is sleeping on the floor,
While I listen for the door.

The packages I've ordered have yet to get here,
What if they don't make it?
That's my biggest fear.

We're watch Christmas Movies and nibble on sweets,
Filling our bellies with too many treats.

The tree in the corner is getting dry and brown,
Every time we walk by, an ornament tumbles down.

Pine needles are strewn beneath our feet,
The house may never again be neat.

The smell of cinnamon fills the air,
but in the kitchen the cupboards are bare.

The money's been spent on Christmas presents,
So now we eat junk and live like peasants.

Am really afraid we will all be sick,
If Christmas doesn't hurry and get here quick.

So come onSanta, come right away,
'cause we are  all ready for Christmas day.