A Real Day Off

Today I have decided to take a day off.

Although I haven't worked full time in quite a while, I realized yesterday that it has been a very long time since I really took a day off.

A day off from job searching.  A day off from worrying about what will happen to me if I don't find a job soon. A day off from doubting myself and my decisions.  A day off from feeling guilty or shameful about anything at all. I'm taking a day off from wondering why I couldn't please someone who is unpleasable, from trying to please anyone besides me.  I'm taking a day off from reading or researching, and after I'm done with this post, a day off from technology and even writing.

My plan is to play with my boy.  To cook something good.  To watch something I enjoy on Netflix and later, closer to bed-time, to take a shower and change into clean pajamas.

There is no one here to judge me for anything I do today.  No one to say I'm a slob for not being dressed or going out to do "something" just so I can say I did "something."  There's no one to tell me the laundry needs to be done except for me, and I happen to know it can wait until tomorrow morning.

I am going to enjoy my couch, my dog and my living room.  I'm going to listen to Charlie tell stories, and I'm going to even take a nap if I feel like it.

Tomorrow I'm going to do laundry.  Tomorrow I'm hoping I'll be able to accept a job offer--yes, I have one!  And tomorrow I will pick my bag-o-worries back up and start unpacking them one at a time and start letting them all go...Including my hurts and confusion and anxiety.

Today I'm going to ignore all that and let my mind and body have a good rest.

It has been such a very long time since I gave myself this kind of break and I'm not even sure I can pull it off...but I'm sure as heck going to try.