Catching Feelings?

Ah Facebook.  Without it, how would a girl like me keep up with all the newest trends out there?

One that I've noticed lately is really bothering me.  It goes like this:

• Someone posts a video or song and add the warning, "This will get you in your feelings."
• Memes that speak of "catching feelings" 
  

Here are a few points I'd like to make about such statements.

1.  If something "gets you in your feelings" I'm guessing that means it makes you emotional?  Perhaps watching a video of some cute puppy dogs made you cry a little or maybe a sad song on the radio reminded you of something sad.  When I hear "got me in" I instantly think of someone being punched in the gut really hard.  Maybe that's the intention of this phrase, to make it sound as if our feelings should be guarded and that any attempt by someone else to access our emotional side is something akin to a punch in the gut?  

Here's my problem with that: As human beings we are wired to have emotional experiences.  Our emotional complexity is one of the things that sets us apart from other mammals.  People who do not have access to their emotions on a minute by minute basis are not functioning at an optimal level.  They are closing themselves off to the inner experience of being human.  If having a "feeling" seems like the equivalent of having someone use you as a punching bag, you need to work on becoming more mindful.  Mindfulness is simply the ability to focus on the here and now, take stock of what your thoughts and emotions are, feel them, accept them and then let them go.  People who practice mindfulness are able to notice when they are deflecting their emotions, when their thoughts start to spiral out of control (usually this means dwelling on the past or worrying about the future) and are able to address what's going on inside them rather than look for distractions or substances that will numb the emotions away.

2. "Catching feelings"--seriously?  This is so ridiculous I don't even know where to begin.  From all I can glean from reading the memes on Google Images, "Catching Feelings" means falling in love or loving someone.  What happened to the word "Love"?  Why has it been replaced with the generic term "feelings" and why do we need to make it sound like a virus?  You catch a cold.  Love is not something you catch.  If only it were contagious, the world might be a much better place.  You catch a virus by being in the right place at the wrong time.  It happens without your knowledge, without your permission, without your ever having wanted it to happen.  Love, on the other hand, requires growth and attention.  People make conscious decisions regarding who they will open their hearts to and allow themselves to love.  I realize that sometimes it doesn't seem like such a voluntary thing, but it is.  You decide to give of yourself, to be vulnerable and to take care of another person's emotional needs, not because you "caught" some kind of emotion, but because you want to cultivate a connection.  Connection leads to love, not some mystery illness.

My problem with this one is that it makes human connection seem like something unnatural and undesirable.  It makes love sound like something we should be ashamed of.  It seems to promote the idea of using people as a means to an end, to get what we want from them and then move on to the next person.  If you don't care about people, using them is easy.  If you develop feelings for someone, it becomes much harder to brush them off as insignificant and to excuse exploitative behavior.  From all I've seen and read, this "catching feelings" thing seems to be mostly perpetuated by males toward females.  It is insulting and I hope to goodness younger women do not start buying into this way of thinking about themselves and their emotional worth.  Honestly, a man who is worth your time will honor and respect the sacredness of your inner experiences and will encourage you to express yourself. A man who sees your worth will be as willing as you are to cultivate a connection with you that goes beyond the physical; he will be willing to share in the experience of personal growth that love requires.

If you ever hear a man telling you, "I don't want you to catch feelings," grab the heaviest object in the room, hurl it at him and say, "Catch this with your head."  Then run.  Run far away and don't look back because the only thing you'll catch from him is something you'll need antibiotics to treat.