Depressed? Maybe it's The Internet's Fault

Feeling down?  Have you been depressed lately, lacking faith in humanity and dealing with a nagging sense of hopelessness that you just can't shake?

Well, it might just be the internet that's causing your woes. Every day people willingly subject themselves to the faith sucking power of a few particular types of online information, and every day we struggle to keep a sense of optimism regarding other people and the world around us.  If you're feeling particularly down on mankind and yourself lately here are a few web habits you might want to give up for at least a while, just to see how much better you'll feel without allowing their steady stream of dreary information and negative consequences infiltrate your brain and/or your life.

1. Local news websites are terrible.  Around here I think the worst culprit is Fox News Carolina.  They are the only news station in our area that tries to be hip and cool while relaying stories of murder, horror and mayhem.  To top off the absurd vibe they try to give off as super attractive, young with-it people that everyone wants to be friends with, they engage in completely inane stunts like "Friday Dance Party" where the entire crew dances around like a bunch of fools for a few seconds on camera. If you join their Facebook page, you'll get frequent updates about their personal lives that, unless you know them in person, are completely boring.  These people who want to be respected as journalists even post hyperbole asking for public opinion on certain stories.  This is especially annoying on slow news days when there's nothing particularly controversial about a story, yet they insist on trying to stir up some ire amongst their readers. Visiting their news page is an exercise in frustration and depression to the highest degree, especially once you scroll to the bottom of the page and witness the older news stories that are linked with sensationalized headlines designed to shock and even frighten you.  Last night I even saw on Facebook that they were trying to get "pumped up" before the evening news; they posted a corny video of themselves dancing to "In The Middle Of The Night" by Billy Joel, looking goofy and seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were about to go on the air and spread every tidbit of bad news they could find around here to anyone gullible enough to turn on the TV and listen.  Now I know that in every profession we all have to have our ways to discharge our stress, but you won't find healthcare professionals cracking medical jokes about dealing with patients online.  Some things are better left behind the scenes.  I don't watch TV, but I do tend to read the news online and I've figured out it's just a bad idea unless you really want to become an agoraphobic hermit, afraid to step out of your house for fear of a drive-by shooting or being killed by a drunk driver.  The news is, for the most part, always bad news.  The feel-good stories just aren't considered to be top-shelf journalism and that is never going to change. Stay away from the local news for a few days, and see how much your mood improves.

2. Just like the local news, Facebook can bring you down fast.  It isn't so much that you're reading horrific stories about the insane violence that people perpetuate against each other, like in the news; but you still get a sense that the world is just really screwed up if you spend too much time reading status updates and watching videos shared by your friends and websites like Upworthy.  Everyone wants to feel as if their life is is as meaningful and filled with love and acceptance as anyone else's.  But on Facebook people seem to fall on both ends of the spectrum with very few falling in the bounds of having "normal" lives.  Either your friends are highly successful, positive and lucky, or they are deeply depressed failures who seem to have nothing but bad luck follow them around like a black cloud of doom.  Truth is, at different points our lives all fall in various places on that spectrum, but we are less than honest about that on Facebook.  Try to not subject yourself to your bragging ex-best friend from high school or your perpetually depressed co-worker for a few days, and I bet you will start to regain your sense of equilibrium when it comes to looking critically at yourself and your life.  You'll feel more normal, more balanced and more like you've got a chance to get to where you want to be.  Trade in the defeat that constant reminders of other people's woes can give you for your own sense of hope and optimism.  You might just decide that it's not worth keeping that social networking crap going if you ever get used to living without it again.

3.  Stay away from Craigslist. I'm looking for a place to move to soon, so I've spent a little time every day on CL searching the real estate section.  First of all the sheer number of people who use the site to scam others is astounding.  For every legitimate person you contact there seem to be 5 more who want to rent you a house that doesn't exist, or isn't for sale, or isn't even theirs.  Last week someone even gave me an address to drive to and when I got there it was a completely different house, occupied by folks who had no intention of ever moving and who were unaware their house was being advertised for rent.  Also, even if you're just curious as to what other people do, don't ever read the Personals or Rants and Raves.  There are some truly sick and depraved people in the world.  Apparently they've all decided to come together on Craigslist to convince the rest of us that we should never believe the best of our fellow human beings.  Women are strictly objects, men are consumed by their primitive sexual desires, and racism and bigotry thrive in an atmosphere where folks are allowed to hide behind their anonymity.  They spew their sexism, misogyny and unbridled anger at people who are different from them with complete disregard for social standards of conduct.  If you spend any time at all reading Rants and Raves, you will completely give up on the redemption of mankind for a while. If you plan to buy something from someone you met on CL, make sure you meet in public and bring backup.  Otherwise, you may never be seen again.  This site can be seriously dangerous, in addition to being downright creepy and amoral. 

4. Google searches for medical and/or mental health problems will always land you in an anxious state of mind, wondering if you indeed have some horrible illness, or if that's just a heat rash on the back of your neck.  You'll end up diagnosing yourself with Bi Polar disorder or even worse, a personality disorder.  You'll convince yourself that the tiny red bump on your inner thigh is cancer or herpes or shingles.  Everything you eat will make you feel like you are slowly committing suicide if you read too much about health and nutrition and you might discontinue your much needed medications if you linger too long on WebMD looking at the list of side effects and drug interactions of each medicine you take.  Some things are better left for the real professionals to decide and are not open to our interpretation of the online symptom lists that are often over simplified or under represented.  If you are having concerns about your health, go to a doctor.  If you're worried about your mental state, call a good therapist.  You'll be glad you let the pros handle the situation, and your mind will remain free from the hamster-wheel of anxious guessing at what might be the problem.

5. Trust me, never EVER try to figure out the inner-workings of a relationship or of another person by reading about relationships online.  Don't take the advice of "dating" gurus, and don't fret over what their definition of a good guy/girl is, or how to determine the health of your relationships.  You will end up fretting over things that you shouldn't give a second thought and you'll ignore the meaningful stuff.  These relationship experts are often just experts at manipulating human behavior and they're out to teach you the art of doing just that.  But if manipulation of others doesn't come naturally to you, you'll never be able to keep your cool and carry out their techniques.  The best advice in the world is probably just to be yourself and let others be who they are.  If something great blossoms out of two people coming together, great!  If things are so complicated that you have to turn to some manipulative stranger online to gain a sense of security and control over the outcome, you're probably hanging on to tightly to something that needs to be let go.  Seriously dating "experts" can ruin your love life.  Stay away!

6. Stop looking for love online.  I'm sure that once in a blue moon a couple hooks up through Match.com and goes on to live happily ever after, but in their own commercials, dating sites admit that only 1 in 5 relationships begin online.  When you break that down to an individual basis, it might mean you'll end up going on a dozen or more dates with total losers before you even find a person you'd want to see a second time.  Often men and women on dating sites have completely opposite goals; but if you look hot and a guy wants to get in your pants, he'll tell you what he thinks you want to hear at least long enough for him to get your zipper down.  Most people lie about themselves in their profiles: either they're fatter than they say, older than they say or more married than they admit.  Guys tend to post pics of themselves six years ago when they had a head full of hair, or pics of themselves wearing sunglasses and baseball caps like a disguise.  When you meet someone in real life, you can size them up pretty quickly.  You see the bald head, but you also get the cute sense of humor.  You might notice the 10 extra pounds, but you really dig that great smile. Online dating is a sure fire way to get yourself into a predicament with a stranger that you'd probably been better off never having met.  Stick to the real world despite what everyone else is doing.  You'll save yourself a lot of headaches, and you'll be much more likely to find the kind of relationship you want.