Some scum bag robbed my house this week. I arrived home on Monday to find my television had been carefully disconnected and removed from my living room, my jewelry-box ransacked, my daughters room plundered and my guitar missing. It was excitement all around, really. Yes, to answer your next question, I did call the police, and No, to answer your second question, the doors were not left unlocked. No, I don't know who did it, and no, the police seem to not really care whether they find out who did it. My shit is just gone and there's nothing I can do to get it back. But hey, it's just stuff, right? At least I'm okay and my kids are okay.
This morning my car, which has been the thorn in my flesh for the last year or so, decided to try out a new trick as I left home to take my daughter to school. It seems that it thinks itself too delicate to remain idling while at a stop unless I put it into park and rev the engine until the light turns green. Okay, I'll play, but I'm leaving my kids safely at home so as not to run the risk of my persnickety car deciding to die, mid-left-turn and kill us all when a semi T-bones us. At least this way, I will be the only dead person at the scene, should the car choke out its last breath at a critical moment in traffic.
I drove to the office in the most creative way ever, cutting through parking lots to avoid traffic lights and slow cars at 4 way stops, and slamming the car into park every time I was unfortunate enough to not have a parking lot to cut through at a traffic light. I made it here, just barely and plopped down at my desk to catch my breath. Okay, I might have had a few weak moments in the car when I cursed and cried a little out of frustration and stress overload...so sue me.
I want a job that pays me enough to take care of my family. I know that means giving up on the dream here, but I'm at the point of realizing I can't do this alone. Yes, there is a board of directors, and I have two partners. The Board has done nothing to help further the mission here, and my partners are hardly ever here. Why? Because all these people have personal agendas, and their first priority is taking care of themselves and their families. Mine has been to see this thing through and make it happen, often at the expense of my own well-being. I believe that what we do here is important, but I'm understanding that others have to believe it too, or this is never going to work. So, here is my paradigm shift (thanks for the cliche, Scott).
My new number one priority, maybe for the first time in my life, is me. And by me, I mean me and my kids. I'm not saying fuck everyone else, I'm just saying...well, fuck everyone else. I have to take care of myself and I have to take care of my kids. I'm ready for a change and I'm about to make it happen. Watch out world, here I come.
Am I happy today? Hell no. But at least I know where to start getting that way.
