7 Signs You Might Be a Facebook Hypocrite

1.  If you've ever been on food stamps, medicaid, or received Unemployment Compensation, posting something like this makes you a hypocrite:
Old Chinese proverb: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he will feed himself for life." 
American proverb: "Give a man foodstamps, welfare checks, 100 weeks of unemployment, free cell phone, cash for clunkers, and free government housing and he will vote democrat forever."


That's right, no matter how many of your friends "like" this comment, since you have been a user of the very system you criticize, you're a hypocrite!  Not to mention, you're showing your ignorance regarding which president is responsible for which program...but that's another blog post.

2.  You  say "I Love You" to your significant other/children/friends, in your Facebook post every day, but you're actually an asshole to them at home.

3.  You spend hours scouring the web for images with wise quotes to post on your wall:


When what' you really think is:



4.  You constantly yap about how wonderful your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is, but you're really just trying to make someone else jealous of the fabulous life you *Don't* have.  Seriously folks, who has the perfect life-partner?  We all know you're blowing smoke up our asses, so why not just say what you mean?  For example:

"Fackbooker123  My husband is an okay guy.  I mean, I could do a lot worse I suppose.  At least he picked up his underwear off the floor today and kissed me goodbye before I left.  Either way, I'm happy I finally settled."

That, we would all buy.

5.  You brag on your kids a bit too much.  It makes us all think you're probably over-compensating for that 44 year old still living in your basement eating Cheetos and playing video games on your old couch from 1976.   We know you're not really the proud parent of a terrific kid...Might as well be honest with yourself and everyone else, this one was a fluke.

6.  You gush about what a great boss/job you have, when in reality, you wish the place would burn down during the night so you'd never have to go back again.  Your real friends likely know you're miserable with your job, no matter what you lead the FB crowd to believe.

7.  You're actually a pretty well-adjusted happy person, but your FB posts are ALWAYS dark, dreary and depressing.  For example, one time I was sitting in the room with a friend of mine (a guy who shall remain nameless) laughing, joking and having  a great time.  Apparently, when I got up to grab a drink, he posted the following on his FB page:

"Life is so hard sometimes.  I'd rather just go home and die than continue living this way."

He got lots of heartwarming, caring responses from people who were (probably) really concerned about him.   In reality?  We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning watching comedy central and laughing our butts off!  Depressed?  I think not.  Attention seeking?  Yes.  Hypocrite? Most definitely.

Happy Posting Y'all! :)

10 Worst "Compliments" I Ever Got From Men

With my 42nd birthday swiftly approaching (2 days away), I have been doing some heavy thinking lately.  Mostly, I've pondered how I look, feel and act at 42 as opposed to the way my mother looked, seemed to feel and acted at the same age.  I was in 3rd grade when she was 42, and I remember thinking she was so OLD compared to my friends' moms.

Here I am, at 42 with two adult  children and a 5 year old.  I wonder how he will see me in comparison to his friends' moms when he is in 3rd grade?  Ugh, not a pretty thought...

Anyway, with all this thinking I've been doing, I've apparently become a bit insecure about my appearance, because yesterday my guy sort of tried to kind of give me a compliment and it made me almost cry.  True story...But here's the thing, is it really a compliment when your man tells you that your boobs, "aren't THAT saggy"???

So, in honor of my 42nd, I decided to list the 10 worst "compliments" I've ever gotten from men, in no particular order:

1.  "Other people might not think you're pretty, but I do." --Billy Farmer
2.  "You look good in the dark."--Billy Farmer (to be fair, this guy actually wrote me a poem to explain what he meant when he said that...but really?  In the dark?)
3.  "You look good...for your age." --Joey Mangum
4.  "Sometimes I look at you and think, 'Rebecca looks great....for having 3 kids.' "--Joey Mangum
5.  "You're stunning, but my ex wife was beautiful." --The Private Man
6.  "You're almost skinny enough to wear that bikini."....As I was WEARING it after losing 25 lbs of baby weight after the second child. --Billy Farmer
7,  "That's a pretty dress...if you like that kind of thing." --Nate Schultz
8.  "I like my women to have a little belly on them." (as he patted mine)--Tony Viola
9.  "You've always had a big butt, even when you were too skinny."--Billy Farmer (after the divorce)
10.  "Your boobs are not THAT saggy...I mean, they aren't that bad...Every woman's boobs get saggy, it's just gravity....after three kids....blah blah blah blah...." --You know who you are 


I guess it could be worse.  I've only really had one man in my life who just outright insulted me.  At least these guys maybe tried, a little, to deliver the message gently.  I guess what really matters most is how I feel about myself anyway, right?  So, I am going to get myself some new duds today and pretty myself up for my birthday dinner with my girlfriends this evening.  At least we are eating outside after dark, so I know I'll look good...For my age...

And for you guys...Sometimes when you start to give a compliment to your girl...well, maybe you just shouldn't.

Happy Birthday to ME! :)