New Beginnings

There are days when I miss my parents more than others.  The last 24 hours I thought about them a lot.  I remembered when I was laboring and giving birth to my daughters, and how I kept my labor a secret from my mother, who truly could not emotionally bear to see her children in pain or struggle.  At the time, I felt I was being tough, even mean to not allow her into the room with me when I was in labor, but last night as I watched my daughter in agony, working so hard to bring her son into this world, I understood something more about my mother.  I understood the agony of watching your child in agony.  Every time Hannah took a deep breath in and got ready to push, I found myself breathing in with her, holding my breath as she pushed with all her might.  I wanted to help, but I was feeling pretty doggone useless.

I spared my mom that heart wrenching experience because it was too much for her, but I wouldn't trade one minute of the time I spent with Hannah, encouraging her, breathing with her, holding my breath for her.  It was my chance to be her cheerleader, to keep reminding her how strong and amazing she is, how miraculous the female body is, and how worth it every second of pain and struggle becomes the moment you see your baby for the first time.

I thought about my dad, the smile he would have had plastered on his face from ear to ear at the sight of that little chubby-face bundle in Hannah's arms.  I wished so much that he could have been there.  I wished my parents could have both seen him, seen how wonderfully strong Hannah was and heard that sweet little cry as Liam made his grand entrance into the world.

Sometimes in life, we all need a cheering squad and sometimes we ARE the cheering squad.  I'm so grateful that in every tough situation, someone has always been there to remind me that I could get through it, I could keep going.  If not for that kind of encouragement and support, I might never have lived to see my second grandchild born.  I might never have gotten the chance to cheer my daughter on as she fought the toughest physical battle of her life thus far.

I know I'm partial, but I couldn't be more proud of the woman she has become.  She's a strong woman with a deep reserve of peace, calmness and abiding love deep within her soul.  She has overcome some obstacles over which many might never have been able to hurdle and I am in awe of her resolve.

I am in awe of this new life, this gift of a brand new chin-dimpled dark haired baby boy that will change all of us even more as life moves on and our love as a family grows deeper.

I so wish my parents could be here for it all, to give him their love and to glow with pride the way I feel I am glowing now.  But they left us that kind of legacy--a legacy of love and pride in family, and I'm grateful for it.  We will keep it and tend it, nurture it and allow it to flourish between the hearts of all our kin.

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away; today he gave to us abundantly, and continues to give to us from the legacy my folks left behind.

Happy Birthday Liam!  Your Mammo loves you so very much.